That Fan With The Thoughts

I like to consider myself a … reasonable person. 

Most times.

Today my patience was being tried by my neighbors. Well, my patience is tried by my neighbors on a daily basis, but usually I can stuff it into the black, ugly little corners of my mind and save that aggression for use at a later date.

Not today. Not even a little.

All afternoon and evening, my neighbors have been having some sort of BBQ. It’s Mother’s Day, and somewhat nice out, I totally get it.

They’ve been playing country music very, very loudly throughout. Enough to make my skin crawl, but… not necessarily completely offensive. I can’t stay mad at something that has the decency to attempt to sound like rock’n’roll. I’m a sucker for a good bassline, what can I say?

… My grudging acceptance fucking ENDED about 20 minutes ago when I heard ‘Hey Soul Sister’ start on up.

My exact words (to my open window) were: “Oh, it’s FUCKING ON now!!”

It was time for a music battle.

One they would lose.

First, I started off with some Deathmetal. Lure ‘em in to a false sense of security. Yeah, you don’t mind me blasting a bit of ‘Opeth’. That’s cool, right? Especially since this guitar riff has been known to harden the dick and wetten the panties of every human being that hears it.

Then some Primus. Because, hey, everybody loves Primus, right? Sure it’s weird, but damn it’s catchy!

And then I went TSUNKU on their ass.

My speakers are blaring some over-the-top, sugary Morning Musume concoction out the window while I sit here with my headphones on, listening to The Mars Volta so I can escape the diabetes I’m surely giving the rest of the block.

I can do this all night, fuckers.

I will win the music war.