While a slightly meta nod to the television series, the album wouldn’t feel complete without the show’s manic opening theme. A short burst of sweet, blowjobby metal that introduces us to our main cast:
Skwisgaar Skwigelf, taller than a tree.
Toki Wartooth, not a bumblebee.
Pickles the Drummer, doodily doo (ding dong doodily doo)
William Murderface, Murderface, Murderface, Murderface.
And that’s all you really need to know. As it turns out, a great way to open a show is also a great way to finish an album.
I’ll be looking at the bonus material that came on the second disc of the deluxe edition tomorrow; we have some real gems there. I’m looking forward to fangasming all over it, I hope you all have the patience to put up with it along with me.
Emilie Autumn provides the violins for this savage examination of the blood-curdling ordeal that is income taxes. The guitars play with the orchestral sound really, REALLY well and Gene’s drumming is solid, methodic and heavy.
As much as I love the music for this song, the real joy in it for me is in the lyrics.
I want to keep my money And give away absolutely nothing To the government that Moderates my spending Obliterates depending On the time of year Brutality is near
The solution to this agonizing situation is clear, at least in Nathan Explosion’s eyes. Laser beams. Yep. Just … wipe out the people who are demanding money with a giant frickin’ laser beam.
… I can’t argue, that does seem like a pretty solid strategy.
The deadpan seriousness of the music with the satiric lyrics makes it even more hilarious. This represents the tone of the show quite nicely, as well as showcases Mister Small’s comedic and musical talents. Seriously. It just rocks.
On an album with hilarious premises for songs, this one stands out. It’s not just the premise — which is punching an asshole in the face — the execution is where the comedic gold lies. As with all the songs on this album with less-than-serious themes and lyrics, this is presented with that DETHly seriousness that makes it so much funnier.
The line “I am be angerous now” cracks me up every single time. Not only for the bad grammar, but for the invented word (I’m guessing a combination of ‘angry’ and ‘dangerous’). This song has a low, menacing groove. The opening crash of drums and guitar puts me in mind of buzzing wasps. The lovely grinding riff during the chorus gets major points from me, too. This is a good one to headbang to for sure.
Ah, a song about the Devil that is woman. Or in this case, the six-breasted, clawed, hyper-fixated on testicle removal she-beast that is woman. In this stunningly subtle metaphor we find the depths of hell that’s being in a shitty, domineering relationship. I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman or something in between … chances are, we’ve dealt with someone that has made us feel pretty powerless. So even though our imagery is scrotal in nature, many of us can identify with what it represents.
I think I’m reading too much into things again.
Like most of the songs on this album, the lyrics are absolutely hysterical. The scenario is hilarious to begin with. Satire and commentary all wrapped into one zany package. Musically this one has a grinding rhythm with simple yet effective guitar support. I love the synth support at the chorus, just the right sound. Naturally we’re treated to an epic guitar solo that competes with the drums for who is most hardcore. It’s so good.
This song is notable right for several reasons; for one Brendon voices more than one character for the vocals. Not only does growly Nathan snarl about getting to fly a helicopter while wearing a way cool helmet, Pickles the Drummer belts out the chorus in a voice that almost (but not quite) conceals his thick Midwestern accent. Unlike Nathan, Pickles actually sings — giving this one a more melodic vocal arrangement than what we’ve seen so far.
Musically this song feels very thrashy to me, heavy, low-tuned guitars with lots of squealing, and blast beats from the drums. During the pre-chorus it switches over to a more metal arrangement that winds up to the chorus. There’s also room for an overindulgent guitar solo during the last third, fleshed out by at least two guitar ‘voices’. We end on some of that thrashy goodness, overall a very satisfying song.
It doesn’t hurt that it has one of the bestest music videos ever.
On my birthday … my friends know well enough to text me the opening lines of this song. Otherwise I am very cross with them.
Many years ago today something grew inside of your motherThat thing was YOU!
With frantic, fuzzed guitars and a driving pace this one comes at you with a ton of energy. There’s even room for some badass guitar solo, but hey — this is Dehtklok, there’s always room for guitar solos. A birthday song that celebrates the fact you’re slowly dying anyway. Can’t get more metal than that.
I’ve never really been that big a fan of this one. It feels too muddy to me, too rough around the edges. Granted it’s about a literal briefcase full of guts, and if I’m expecting that to be a smooth operation I clearly have a very frightening view of the world. I’m not a fan of the pacing or the tone, but the lyrics I have no problem with.
The drums are very aggressive and are what drives the song, but they almost feel like a little too much in places … at least on my ear. It reminds me of grindcore, and that doesn’t do it favors in my book. It might in yours, though! The guitar is good as always, Miser Small has a real knack for finding the right notes to put in the right places.
Anyone who played a lot of Guitar Hero 2 will no doubt be familiar with this song. This was another song that played a huge role in showing us what Dethklok was all about. We are first introduced to it as a music video that features the graphic, brutal slaughter of most of the main cast, sexytimes and strong Conan the Barbarian overtones. This over-the-top presentation says a lot about their creative vision, which in turn says a lot about who they are as people.
The song is mostly about the music; the lyrics don’t get much more complex than “thunder”, “horse” and “ride”. This one’s all about the sweet, metal shreddy goodness of the guitars — which is why this song was a great choice for Guitar Hero.
A definite Dethklok classic, so much so that Epiphone released a custom Explorer bodied guitar that bears the Thunderhorse name:
This is one of my favorites as well as an album original. It tells the tale of a group of Vikings who set out on a journey, get hopelessly lost … but are much too proud to ask for directions. So they just ride around doing as they please, I guess. Making it look like they know what they’re doing.
As much as the song’s premise makes me smile, it’s got some badass instrumentation to back it up. Gene’s drumming takes on this rolling, galloping quality that makes it a rhythmic treat; and it’s a rare song where we get a clear listen at some of Brendon’s bass playing. The guitars play off one another well, especially during the bridge solo and the vocals are more reserved than some of the album’s other offerings. Brendon is merely gurgling into the mike instead of growling into it — but it gives this song more weight because of it.
I’m a sucker for this one. Who CAN’T love them some silly Viking metal? A miserable person. That’s who.
I don’t know what a Better Metal Snake is, but I want one. They sound really kick-ass.
This song is built on elaborate rhythms while being slightly more restrained in the melody department — at least until you get to the bridge, where more complex melodies take over for the remainder of the song. Mister Small seems to be incorporating different influences and styles of metal here, and I gotta say I like the blend.
In this cheerful number, Dethklok tells their fans exactly what they think of them. Basically, to them, we’re all just a bunch of basement-dwelling losers that they truly hate. But … it’s their hate that makes them powerful, and allows them to continue making music. And hey, they like our money well enough. That’s something, right?
This song makes good use of synths for rhythmic accent, it’s probably one of my favorite bits of instrumentation. Well, that and the lovely guitar solos at the bridge. Lovely, gliding things that they are. Even the frantic breakdown leading up to the bridge is fucking fantastic, there’s nothing here that drags.
Dethklok may hate their fans, but Mister Small clearly loves them. Otherwise he wouldn’t have made this such an awesome fucking song.
One of my favorite tracks on the album, this one is so ridiculously melodic that it can’t help but get my attention. And if the music didn’t get my attention? The lyrics most certainly would:
Now you’ve graduated Mind is mutilated Thrust into the world Feeling segregated Move in with your parents Back into the dark Landed where you started Bachelor of Arts
Or how about:
Now you’re sad and frightened Want to go and hide Maybe get your masters Eight more years inside Dream of your own murder Strangled by the IVY Drown in student loans Better off just dying
To put it bluntly, this song is about the brutality and futility of higher education. It dances this odd line between social commentary and parody, but it’s backed up by really strong instrumentals.
This song has a very baroque feel to its composition, the way things are layered and harmonized just has this epic feel to it. There’s also a great, almost bluesy quality to the guitar solo at the bridge, I can’t put my finger on it but it sounds so wholly sad and miserable … but in the most beautiful way possible.
This is one of my all-time favorite Dethklok songs, to me there is nothing about it that isn’t absolutely perfect.
Blood is an energy conductor I am full of it All I need is an outlet
Is it just me, or is that right there kinda … deep? I’m no doubt reading too much into it, as the inspiration for this song (at least in terms of the show’s canon) was someone being electrocuted by a current entering a pool of their own blood. Probably shouldn’t take it too seriously.
I love the grinding guitars in this one, they’re just so low and that is always a great thing. This one makes an odd tonal shift at the bridge which doesn’t quite sit right with me, but I forgive it because of the sweet guitar solo that comes of it. I’ll forgive a lot of things for awesome guitar solos; my dedication to The Mars Volta is proof enough of that.
A good tune, although a bit short. Mister Small was still perfecting the Dethklok sound, and when I get around to covering the other albums I’ll be talking about the evolution of Dethklok’s sound a lot. This song is a good example of him experimenting with a few things to find the band’s voice.
Another important song in the Metalocalypse mythos. With lyrics inspired by a Finnish book of necronomic spells, Dethklok manages to summon a lake troll by the name of Mustakrakish … who proceeds to go on a destructive rampage across Finland.
This one has an almost cheerful, power metal feel to it … and given the subject matter that seems fairly appropriate. It shows off some extremely deft guitar work on Mister Small’s (Skwisgaar’s) part as well. This was one of the earliest songs in the series and it needed to show what Dethklok was capable of. Well, this. This is what they’re capable of. Among other things.
Mister Small credits Queen as one of his main influences on this song, and it certainly shows in the melodies. This one starts out driving, deep, even harsh but then is swept away by the triumphant guitars. There’s a good reason this song was featured in the first season’s climax; it’s epic as SHIT.
This song is important to the mythos of Metalocalypse in many ways, which is why it makes such a strong impression. It’s certainly one of the album’s lynchpins and a definite must-listen.
Brendon is clearly having fun with this one in the studio, it really shows in the final product. The thud, the fuzz, the grinding guitar licks … it sounds like a really great time. Not to mention Gene, defining his Dethklok drumming style with the power of a relentless beast.
30. A Final Fantasy game you love, which seems to have a bad reputation or that you feel is underrated.
I’m not sure if this is cheating or not, but I’m going to stay Vagrant Story. While not a Final Fantasy game in name, it takes place in the same universe as both Final Fantasy Tactics and Final Fantasy XII.
It’s a very different kind of game, one I’d almost classify as survival horror with heavy RPG elements. Instead of a party, you are a special ops-type juggernaut named Ashley Riot. Traipsing around the maze of the occult-tainted city of Lea Monde, you fight a one-man war against all kinds of supernatural creatures in your quest to request the kidnapped nephew of an important man. The boy’s kidnapper, Sydney Losstarot, is clearly up to no good … having unnatural control over man and beast alike.
This game didn’t even sell a million copies during its initial run, which means it never made it into ‘Playstation’s Greatest Hits’ territory. That’s a damn shame.
The style and graphics were unique, even the flavor text was presented in this kind of comic-book looking font and style, the dialogue overly formal and old-timey. I liked that a lot.
Probably my favorite thing was the weapons customization. This isn’t the type of game where you can get by with just one weapon; you gotta have two or three ready to go to pinch-hit in special situations. The magick (and yes, they spell it with a ‘k’) in this game is also fucking awesome. The special abilities and combos you execute using the controller make the fighting fluid and engaging. The ‘Risk’ system adds a bit of strategy, making it more than just a pointless beat ‘em up. If you wail on an enemy too long, it can have dire consequences for you. Gotta keep that Risk low otherwise your shit could get wrecked in an instant - and every time you attack it goes up.
It made me think a lot more than games like this tend to do. The story is full of intrigue, the setting is full of creepy yet beautiful locations, the monsters in this game are even kinda terrifying. I can still remember breaking out in a cold sweat when I first encountered the Harpys.
THAT IS A WOMAN’S FACE ON THE TORSO OF A GIANT BIRD OF DEATH. IT IS FUCKING SCARY.
This game is also really challenging, probably one of the hardest RPGs I’ve ever played. The learning curve isn’t really steep, it just expects you to be able to endure a LOT of punishment and think fast on your feet. The final boss battle took me nearly TWO HOURS to complete, and after the fact I found out that that is actually a really good time. It didn’t feel like two hours as I was fighting, though. It was intense and challenging enough to frustrate me … but not so hard that I wanted to break my controller. Which is EXACTLY the kind of balance you want, especially in a game like this.
It’s a lonely journey through the dead city. The music and sound design really set a great tone and each location within the maze is stunningly constructed. Even by today’s graphical standards — there’s something impressive in how everything was rendered, especially the lighting. It adds a depth to this game that you don’t see in other RPGs of its time.
If you haven’t played this one I HIGHLY recommend it. It’s available on the PSN these days, and isn’t TOO hard to find for a decent price online if you want the actual disc.
29. Are there any characters you feel you share similarities with, either physically or in personality?
Oddly enough… not really. Not anyone that has a defined character, at least.
I’ve always seen myself as a bit of a Red Mage, though. ^^
In the first Final Fantasy, Red Mages were pretty cool. They weren’t as strong as Fighters, but they could still deal some serious physical damage. They could also use mid-level white and black magic — making them extremely useful. White and Black Mages had habits of keeling over… and sucking at melee attacks.
I feel like a Red Mage because I can do a lot of things pretty well … but I don’t have any one skill mastered. Jack of all trades, master of none. I’m not extremely good at anything, but that’s okay yanno? Because I can do fairly well at lots of stuff, and that’s an achievement in itself.
Up until now, the songs on this album have been a minute thirty, two minutes long. Drive-by songs, if you will. The band chose to close the album with a six minute interstellar jam. Not only does it have a hilarious title and an even more hilarious premise, but it is executed with deadly seriousness.
The single repeating verse in this song is just the phrase “I am not a shithead” in German, with the words ‘Muff Diver Down’ screaming us into the chorus, which is done with no vocals — only guitar riffs.
The creeping synth is the backbone of this song, a building block the guitar and bass capitalize on. The guitar goes for a wild, bluesy riff, heavy on distortion but heavy on the melody, too. It settles in with the synth chords for the verse, but returns to its bluesy noodlings for the chorus.
The drums steadily become more intense, the distortion overwhelms, and everything just goes apeshit. The song drives itself insane, and, much like the equipment in the studio when this was recorded, comes flying apart in all directions.
So! Now they I have you all excited about the SROS Lords (don’t you just wanna donate to them right now?? Hey, when they do well — I do well. Just saying) … time to move on to my next review target. As I already hinted … we’re taking a turn for the metal.
I love the almost surf opening of this song, along with the high-low harmonies of the synth against the bubbling bass and raucous drums. I also love the guitar solo at the bridge, there are many notable solos on this album — but this one is one of my favorites. Second only to the solo in ‘Jesse’s Girl’.
What really gets me about this song is the lyrics. Something I’m sure more than a few of us can identify with. It’s about being glad that a relationship is over, yet still unable to let go of the little bits the other person has left behind in our lives.
This one features jumpy, cheerful chords and no-holds-barred drumming approached, the distortion on the bass in this song makes it sound more like a cosmic synthesizer than a bass guitar. The actual synth adds some solid support during the chorus, hiding under the mix for the verse portions.
I love the effects on the vocals in this song, some of the more creative engineering when it comes to the vocals on this album.
A hard song about a hard subject: societal collapse.
One of the oldest SROS Lords songs, and one that has seen several recorded incarnations. This one is by far the fastest and the best produced, and it serves this apocalyptic hymn well.
The urgency and pace of the music matches the tone of the lyrics. Clean guitar with spacey synths backed by a tribal rhythm line. The use of vocal effects on this track is also really cool; especially during the last refrain.